Goodbyes Aren't Forever
by Dlbn
Summary: But this one was. *Dedication fic*


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and non-canon characters. Everything else is from Loveless and therefore belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money from this.

Dedication: Dedicated to the one-year anniversary of my aunt's passing. I love you Moo / 3

000

It was rather eerie when you thought about it. It hadn't been that long ago that Minami Ritsu had seen the person the headstone belonged to alive. They'd fought, they always fought, but she'd left in giggles and high spirits, leaving him behind in a wake of his own self-pity and longing for the woman he let go so many years ago. Her husband had called her home to help deal with their child, an eight-year-old boy, and she'd disappeared into the night. That was two weeks ago. Now, as he stood under trees with changing colored leaves, it all felt so unreal. How could she be there one day, gone the next? Taken away by a combination of rain and a drunken driver. Both herself and her husband, a man Ritsu loathed with all his being, perished in the accident, but her son survived, unharmed and relatively uninjured. He had a feeling she'd cast out a protective spell to keep him safe from the twisting metal and solid concrete that would break his fall. He didn't believe it when two police officers showed up on his doorsteps with legal paperwork and empty apologies concerning her death. He didn't believe it when he phoned his friends of the old days-Nana, Nagisa, Asitai, Otorai, even Aidien-to inform them of the news. He didn't believe it when Nagisa sobbed and Aidien hung up quickly, not wanting to deal with a heartbroken Ritsu he was certain was about to bubble to the surface. He always was one to run away from things that were too tough, though Ritsu practically nursed him back from him depression following his Fighter's death when they were teens. He didn't believe it when he picked up the boy at the hospital to take home. He didn't believe it when he told him his parents were dead and to stop begging for them. Even as her parents glared daggers at him for being the one trusted with their son instead of them, even as the priest spoke his prayers and people made their speeches-he didn't speak as he didn't want to cause issues with her ignorant parents-, even as the casket lowered and was covered by dirt, flowers, and tears…he didn't believe it.

Asitai went back to the hospital and Otorai returned to his familial duties, leaving himself with Nagisa and Nana. Nagisa stood at his side with a black umbrella over her head, dressed from head to toe in black Lolita that would make even the most devoted of Goths jealous. Her lips were moving, but he wasn't hearing the words tumbling from them as he watched the boy, Iyani's son, sit and weep at the graves. Nana was dressed in a long black dress with a black jacket as she worked on her laptop, sitting at her friends' feet. Iyani's parents had long gone home, not even taking the time to console their grandson before they had. At least Hibiki's parents had stayed around long enough to hug him and whisper words of encouragement before leaving. They seemed relieved they didn't have to raise the child themselves; a strong contrast to Iyani's possessive, jealous family.

"Are you even listening, Ritsu?" Nagisa asked. "I'm asking you a question."

"No, I'm not listening." He snapped. "What do you want?"

"And there comes the anger stage of grief." Nana informed, shaking her head.

"I'm not grieving."

"At least _pretend_ to have emotions, Ritsu." Nagisa scolded. "For Soubi-kun, if not for us. She was our friend, your _Fighter_."

"Who ditched me for _Agatsuma Hibiki_." Ritsu spat out the name, not caring if the child heard. "Your point?"

"Anger again."

"Shut up, Nana."

"I _asked_ what you're going to do now." Nagisa told him. "We all know you're not one for children, but if Iyani asked you to take him, you're going to."

"She never asked me. The police just threw him into my lap."

"He's a cute kid. A bit quiet, but given the circumstances…" Nana started, only to be cut off by a scoff from Ritsu.

"He's anything but quiet." He complained. "I haven't slept well since he got to my place."

"You barely sleep." Nagisa informed.

"When I try, he's always around. Afraid of the dark, wanting a drink, afraid to be alone, wanting to hear a story. Didn't she discipline the brat well enough?"

"He's a _child_ , Ritsu. A child whose parents were taken from him in the very accident _he_ survived." Nagisa glared at him. "Give him time. It's not like he knows you. You're just some guy his mother argued with that he was thrown at when she died. Once he's used to you, he'll be fine. Just because _you_ were raised by a total dick, it doesn't mean he needs to be."

"Refrain from mentioning my _father_ , Nagisa. Thoughts of him should have died when he did."

"You've never been one to show emotion, Ritsu, yet you've shown a lot of anger tonight." Nana offered. "I feel like the events as of late are bothering you more than you'd like to admit."

"There's nothing to admit. People come, people go. I wept enough tears over Sumeka Iyani over the years. I won't shed more."

"Yeah, she didn't want to be with you and broke your heart. We get it; you're pathetic." Nagisa rolled her eyes. "More or less, we're all over the people we've lost since our alliance began. You're the only one that's still lingering."

"Go to hell, Nagisa."

"You're only saying that because you know I'm right, you know." She informed. "If I wasn't, you'd at least argue."

"Your Fighters died. They didn't have a choice. Mine did."

"And you think she chose wrong." Nana offered.

"I do."

"And seeing the boy every day is a constant, daily reminder of her betrayal." Nagisa smirked. "That's why you don't like the boy. Not because of his father, or his behavior. Because he looks like her. Same eyes, same hair, same pout, same everything."

"I've known you for well over a decade, Nagisa, and I've yet to learn if you ever stop talking."

She rolled her eyes. "Keep making jibes at me. It's only because I'm right and you're too chicken shit to admit it."

"Sagan Nagisa, _enough_."

If she had ears, he'd swear they'd have folded down.

"Alright, enough. I'm rather certain he can hear us." Nana nodded at the boy.

"Like I care." Ritsu snorted. "Hey. You done sniveling yet?"

Soubi turned to look at him, blue eyes wide and glistening. "S-Sorry, Sensei. I'll be…be there in a minute…" He informed, voice cracking as he turned back to the grave.

"It would do you well to stop being such a prick, Ritsu." Nagisa scolded.

"If you feel so bad for him, why don't you take him home?" Ritsu asked.

Nagisa's nose crinkled. "My boyfriend would have a heart attack if I showed up at our front door with an eight-year-old."

Oh, right. Whatever his name was. Ritsu didn't know, nor did he care. As long as he stayed out of Septimal Moon's business, that's all he cared.

"Don't offer to me; you know full well why I can't." Nana informed.

"Right; children make you sad. We run a _school_ , you know." Ritsu rolled his eyes.

Nana snapped her laptop shut and stood. "You wonder if Nagisa ever stops talking, but I think it would be wise if you shut your mouth for once, as well." She stomped off.

"Nice going, dumbass." Nagisa scolded, slapping him. "Try better for the boy. Do it for Iyani. You know, do something for someone other than yourself for once."

He glared as she turned on her heel and scurried after her friend. He sighed and turned back to the grave, where the blonde still sat. he stalked over and pulled him up into a standing position by the upper arm.

"You've had more than an extra minute." He informed. "If you like it here so much, why not stay? I did buy the entire thing for your family, you know. It would be rude to waste space."

He'd used school funding to do so out of respect for Iyani. Her parents got her life insurance policy money until Soubi was eighteen, but they'd probably squander it away on cigarettes or other meaningless garbage he knew they didn't need. It wasn't much, but it was better than sitting in a morgue with her lousy husband, rotting away for the rest of eternity.

"S-Stay?" Soubi asked, lip quivering. "W-Why…?"

"That's a good idea, you know. You don't like me, I'm not fond of you either. Stay here with your parents; go on, hop in."

Soubi furiously shook his head and ripped his arm from Ritsu's grip. "N-No…don't make me g-get in there!" He begged, backing away with his hands clasped in front of him. "It's too scary…"

"Everything scares you." Ritsu sighed, offering him a hand. "Relax, I'm not throwing you into a grave."

"Y-You're not…?"

"No. She'd kill me." He nodded at Iyani's half of the plot. "Let's go. There are things at the school that require my attention, and you're not fully enrolled yet."

"H-Hai…s-sensei…" Soubi was led away by the hand as he turned around to look at the graves one last time. "Bye…"

Ritsu rolled his eyes, practically tossing the blonde at the car when he got to it. "Buckle up." He ordered. "I won't have another casualty."

"Another…what…?"

"Are you really this stupid?" Ritsu groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm not scraping your body off the pavement if you don't buckle in."

Soubi quickly scrambled to clasp the buckle as Ritsu shut the door.

"Stupid kid…" He complained, walking to his side of the car.

He didn't give the graveyard a second glance as he left.

000

A desperate, heavy longing in his chest prompted Ritsu to take his car out for a drive. Let Soubi have a mini heart attack when he woke up in the middle of the night for _more_ waterand found him gone. Call him cruel, but he didn't really care to cater to a crybaby eight-year-old he was thrown without asking his opinion of the matter. Despite himself, he found himself parking just three spots from the Agatsuma gravesite. The ground was the only still freshly dug spot, everyone else surrounding them either already buried or still living. Flowers from the funeral still sat on top, as did little knee prints from Soubi kneeling at the grave so long after the funeral ended. If he were honest with himself, it wasn't that he _hated_ the kid. Yes, he reminded Ritsu of his departed Fighter, and the blood running through his veins belonged half to _Agatsuma_. But he was just an unwanted annoyance. Iyani could have at least _asked_ him if he'd take the kid whenever she died before putting it in her damn _will_. He'd tried to find legal loopholes, let Aidien do the same, but nothing. He could just drop him off at social services, but he didn't feel like making the drive.

Ritsu stood in front of the grave in his pajamas, hands shoved into his coat pockets and fiddling with his car keys. It was as still and silent as it had been when they'd left earlier. He could almost hear her scolding him for mistreating her son, almost hear her laugh at his terrible jokes and attempted sense of humor. It was deafening. He glared hatefully at the grave, wishing he'd made them put _Sumeka_ for her surname instead of Agatsuma out of spite for her other half. _He_ was meant to be her other half. _They_ were meant to be together. Yet she fell for playboy in the extreme, no matter how much she hated him at first and despised talking to him for a few seconds, let alone thinking of other things happening between them that didn't include castration. How her bond hadn't burned, her soul hadn't ached, from her lessening bond with Ritsu, he'd never know. He spent many nights mistaking the pain in his bond for heartburn and downing Tums and glasses of milk. Yet she was unaffected, that he knew of. It wasn't like she'd tell him, but as her Sacrifice, he'd know. He knew many things about her that Agatsuma would never know. That fact gave him little comfort as he stood in silence, staring at something he shouldn't have to see until the boy was well over the legal age and out of his hair.

"Are you proud of yourself?" He asked her, scoffing. "Look where you are. Lying in the ground, dead as a doornail, next to that _civilian_ you married." Civilians were people not associated with their world of spells and the like. "I hope you're happy with what you've accomplished. That damn kid of yours is going to be the death of me. Why the hell did you send him to me? Revenge? Well it's not funny, Iyani." He paused. "I'm talking to dirt and a slab of concrete. I must be lacking the proper amount of sleep…"

Silence passed, the only sound of leaves rustling in the wind around him. A cascade of red, orange, and yellow leaves were being shaken loose by the wind and swaying branches. They were starting to litter the ground to decorate the gravestones nearby. Iyani once loved the fall for this very reason. They'd spent countless hours as children jumping into piles of leaves and drinking warm apple cider. They'd steal extra cider donuts from the school cafeteria and hoard them in their dorms. At least they did until they were caught by a chef and reprimanded by his father, the then Principal of the Academy. Regardless of all the detentions they received, he couldn't say that fall wasn't the best season for him and Iyani. In the winter, they'd huddle together with hot cocoa and Christmas specials on the TV as snow fell outside. In the spring, they'd splash through puddles and pick flowers from the school gardens. She'd go home to her parents over the summer, leaving him alone for months until school started up again. Occasionally she'd invite him to pool gatherings or on vacations with her family. Rarely he accepted. Then fall would come, school would restart, and their pattern would begin all over again. Until they were expelled, that was. Reuniting with her was one of the happiest days of his life, but the day she started holding hands with Agatsuma and not threatening to bash his face in when he hit on her was the worst.

He almost punched the grave, but stopped. Having a broken hand would be annoying, not help him out.

"Someone so powerful…taken down by a drunkard and a rainstorm…" Ritsu mused. "I'd pictured you going in a way that was more suitable for you, Iyani. As for you, Agatsuma, you could rot to death in a gutter for all I cared." He didn't know why he was talking to either of them like this, but so be it. "I just want to frigging sleep. Can't you let me sleep?" He palmed his eyes. "You're in my dreams, in my thoughts. I can't get rid of you; no matter what I do. You're always _there_. Like a fungus or an infection." Silence. "This is pathetic. I'm going home…"

"Excuse me, young man?" A womanly voice asked him.

"Hai?" He turned to spot a woman a little older than him, standing at the grave next to him with a pile of yellow flowers.

"The grave looks fresh." She mused. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Oh. Why, thank you. Yes, they passed last week. Car accident."

"Such a shame." She tsked. "How old?"

"Thirty-two and thirty-four."

"So young." She shook her head. "My husband died when he was fifty-six years old. Heart attack."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

She smiled gently at him. "A friend of yours?"

"You could say that." He cleared his throat. "Me and her. Him I could care less about."

"A former lover and her new partner, perhaps?"

"How did you know…?"

"A woman's intuition, my boy." She tapped on her temple. "You should always trust it. Ninety-nine percent of the time, its correct in its assumptions."

"Pardon, but I don't have a woman." He replied. "Just her brat kid she left behind."

"Not yours?"

He laughed. "If he was mine, I'd shoot myself in the head." He stated. "We had a fling right before she got married. It wasn't worth much."

"It must have been worth something if you're standing here, yelling at a grave at two AM."

"May I ask why you are here? Isn't it rather late?"

"It's never too late for a visit." She replied, laying flowers on the grave on the left side of Hibiki's part of the plot.

"I suppose not." He sighed. "We've been best friends since we were kids. I'm the moron that started having feelings."

"Having feelings doesn't make you a moron, my boy." She replied. "If my husband and I thought ourselves fools for how we felt, why we wouldn't have been married for sixteen years, never had our wonderful children."

"How many?"

"Four." She smiled softly. "Do you have any?"

"No. I'm just watching hers until I can figure out where to stick him."

"A word of advice? Don't hate on the child because you don't like the father." She stated. "My husband and my ex-husband hated one another, but they both treated our respective kids as though they were kings and queens."

"I'm not all that good with children. It has nothing to do with his father…" He tried to ignore her look. "It has a little to do with him, I admit, but he looks too much like his mother for me to see his father in him."

"That might be what your head is saying, but your heart is saying different." She informed.

"I suppose that could be the case." He snorted. "It always lined up to me, but I've never been certain…"

"Certain of what?"

"We had that fling right before she got married."

"Hai?"

"He came shortly after."

"You think there's a possibility he is yours, and not the son of the young man whose grave you're standing upon?"

"Our friends always teased me about it, and I always wondered…"

"If I were you, I'd find out before you let your hatred consume you."

"I suppose I should." He straightened his back. "I should get going…he will wake up soon and freak out if I'm gone."

She nodded. "Just remember what I've told you, son."

"I won't. Arigato." He bowed and returned to his car.

The woman watched as he disappeared into the night and sighed, scooping up the flowers she'd laid.

"Sorry about that." She told the grave she'd plucked them from. "I didn't think the moron would be here this late at night." She snorted. "Soubi could possibly be his. Please; don't make me laugh." She tossed the flowers onto Hibiki's side of the grave. "I'm sorry, love. One day, you'll understand." She informed., pulling something from her pocket and putting it on the other side of the grave. "I have _zero_ idea who you are or what you were doing in a car with my husband and my son, but I don't particularly care." She rolled her eyes. "He always was a playboy. But to drag our son into this? Pathetic, even by his standards." She flicked her wrist in a wave before disappearing up the trail, ripping off the false skin full of wrinkles to display the porcelain skin underneath. She looked back at the grave and scoffed. "Men."

000

It sat on the table, a bright splotch against the dark mahogany. A white envelope containing test results Ritsu had once desperately wanted to know the results of. He'd had this test done seven years ago, but he never bothered to read the results. He was certain he didn't want to know. Ritsu had pushed to the back of his mind the idea that the brat could be his in order to properly train him without his hatred and other emotions getting in the way. The now earless brat sat on the other side of the living room, painting something onto canvas with the precision of his late mother. The pout on his face was strictly Iyani and it was driving him nuts. Ritsu picked up the envelope, toyed with it in his hands as he watched the younger paint. He'd always been a good artist, something Ritsu occasionally praised him for and hoped he'd take up more as he got older. Everyone needed a hobby. He supposed Iyani was right when she said painting was just an extension of self, an extension of how you feel. At least the boy knew how to convey his emotions now _without_ crying over everything and climbing into Ritsu's bed. After the last time he'd done that, he wouldn't do it again any time soon. Ritsu felt himself a monster for his actions, especially with the contents of the envelope not being open yet to give him the answers he desperately craved, but he couldn't go back and change it. finally fed up with himself or being as pathetic as Nagisa said he was way back when, he pulled at the crease of the envelope flap with an envelope opener. Soubi didn't seem to hear the crinkling and ripping of the paper, or he just learned not to care. Ritsu slowly pulled out the letter, tossing the folded slab of dead tree onto the table and the envelope into the trash. This was it. Once he opened it, there would be no going back. Either he'd be even more so disgusted with his actions and cast Soubi into his own place so he'd no longer have to be _reminded_ of what he'd done, or he'd be so relieved he'd treat himself to an hour of Wisdom Resurrection that night with Nana and Nagisa. He sighed and gripped the paper, fingers shaking as he opened it. His eyes skimmed over the letterhead, over the greeting, and through the results of the test.

"Ritsu?" Soubi greeted form the doorway.

He looked up. How had he not heard him.

"Yes?" He tucked the letter under the placemat on the table nearest him.

"I'm sorry to intrude…but I'm hungry…"

He looked at the clock. "It's almost time for dinner. Go wash your hands you're covered in paint."

"Hai, sensei." Soubi started to leave, but Ritsu grabbed his wrist. "Hai, Sensei?"

Ritsu pulled him close and placed a rough kiss against his lips. Soubi stood there, stunned, until Ritsu let him go. The blonde blinked confusion out of his eyes and swallowed.

"What was that for…?" He asked, blushing tomato red.

"Nothing. Just go."

Soubi blinked again before turning and leaving, sparing Ritsu one last glance over his shoulder. The teacher grabbed the letter and rushed to his office. He threw the paper that had been tormenting him for seven years into the trash and turned his desktop on.

 _Nagisa_. He typed into the Skype chat window that popped up.

 _What? I'm busy._ She responded.

 _I opened the letter._

 _And?_

He left the room, shutting the door behind him.

 _Ritsu?_

 _Ritsu?_

 _Minami?_

 _Idiot._

As Soubi joined Ritsu in the kitchen and offered to help with dinner, the offending paper sat face up in the waste basket. The words _no match found_ displayed themselves proudly in large, blocky black letters.


End file.
